When was the last time you asked yourself, “What do I want?” “What does success look like to me?”
Maybe you’re realizing that you never have.
Without knowing, you’ll spend a lifetime chasing after the goals, the accolades, the lifestyle that everyone else around you says you should want. While the thrill of the chase may feel like fulfillment, what happens when you stop running?
Hi! I’m SunAh.
As a former – or perhaps still recovering – Type A perfectionist, I spent most of my life excelling at every goal set in front of me. But, I didn’t think to stop and ask if those goals were what I wanted. I’m not sure I even knew that it was okay for me to want something other than what other people – be they friends, family, or society – told me I should want.
When I look back, I can’t quite find the moment that led me to question what I’d been striving so hard for. It wasn’t in high school when I was making straight As and having mini-breakdowns at my inability to be perfect at everything, and I don’t think it was post-undergrad when for the third year in a row my five year plan fell apart and I found myself drowning my sorrows in sangria swirl margaritas. It wasn’t when I finally quit a job that paid well and looked glamorous but was turning me into the worst version of myself. Yes, all of those were ruptures in my pursuit of “success” or meaning or being but none were a distinct turning point. Maybe there wasn’t just one moment.
Instead, finding the “I” in the life of my dreams has been an ongoing practice in surrender. Letting go of a life confined to a never-ending list of To Do’s, highlight reels, arbitrary deadlines for personal achievement, or the idea of linear forward achievement at all. I’m slowly detaching from a life defined by productivity and what’s next, instead creating a life of presence.
Purpose Over Vanity is where I share some of the mindset reframes and personal development tips that are helping me do just that.
